Sunday, October 3, 2010

2010 October LDS General Conferences

So many things are said during General Conferences. For me, the time between Fall Conference and Spring Conference seems like a very long time, yet between Spring and Fall seems to come along faster. I didn't want General Conferences to be over today. I wished they were ten hours each day, this weekend. I needed that spiritual food.

I am very grateful for technology. I love that I can go back and watch Conference talks the same evening. I can clarify questions that arose, or re-listen to a sentence that felt it was said just for me. That, for me is a very good thing, for a couple of reasons.

I need too. I came away more disturbed today, than I did uplifted. I need to prayerfully go back and listen to every talk, especially one. I need to make sure I did not misunderstand what a certain GA said.

It's late now, and I want to be clear headed and feeling at peace. I need to go have prayer and read my scriptures and sleep.

I will follow President Monson's admonition:

"The 3 R's of Choice - the right, responsibility and result."

"Next to the bestowal of life itself, the right to direct that life is God’s greatest gift to us."

Friday, October 1, 2010


Today Is Friday.
Today is ok.
Ok is good
And Life is a Carnival, right?

You can walk on the water, drown in the sand
You can fly off a mountaintop if anybody can
Run away, run away--it's the restless age
Look away, look away--you can turn the page
Hey, buddy, would you like to buy a watch real cheap
Here on the street
I got six on each arm and two more round my feet
Life is a carnival--believe it or not
Life is a carnival--two bits a shot

Saw a man with the jinx in the third degree
From trying to deal with people--people you can't see
Take away, take away, this house of mirrors
Give away, give away, all the souvenirs
We're all in the same boat ready to float off the edge of the world
The flat old world
The street is a sideshow from the peddler to the corner girl
Life is a carnival--it's in the book
Life is a carnival--take another look

Hey, buddy, would you like to buy a watch real cheap
Here on the street
I got six on each arm and two more round my feet
Life is a carnival--believe it or not
Life is a carnival--two bits a shot
Lyric's "The Band"
Put one foot in front of the other...
That's all that matter's.
Keep on keeping on...------->
I am really glad General conferences are this weekend. 
I need the spiritual food.

"I delight in the Lord's mercies and miracles (see "Bless Our Fast, We Pray," Hymns, no. 138). I know that His tender mercies and His miracles, large and small, are real. They come in His way and on His timetable. Sometimes it is not until we have reached our extremity. Jesus's disciples on the Sea of Galilee had to toil in rowing against a contrary wind all through the night before Jesus finally came to their aid. He did not come until the "fourth watch," meaning near dawn. Yet He did come. (See Mark 6:45-51.) My testimony is that miracles do come, though sometimes not until the fourth watch."

Susan W. Tanner, "My Soul Delighteth in the Things of the Lord," Ensign, May 2008, 83

Wednesday, June 9, 2010

Mental Health in the Church: Suggestions for Leaders

(Thank you for your kindness, understanding and inspiration Jeff)

There is a serious issue that I'd like to raise, especially for you who are or who will be leaders in the Church. The issue is mental illness. Very few of us have had any training in recognizing and dealing with mental illness, but there is a great need. I would especially urge bishoprics, Relief Society presidents, and other leaders to learn about mental illness and look for its symptoms. Stake leaders, it may be helpful to provide more training about mental from competent sources for your leaders so they can better deal with the many forms of mental illness that afflict some of our members.

I think my biggest surprises when I was a bishop came from experiences with those who suffered from various forms of mental illness. Some had kept their suffering hidden for years without ever getting help, but how much help was needed all that time. The most serious problems involved those who had been abused as children. I could spend hours writing about what a hell sexual abuse creates for its victims, and how it can inflict such terrible and lasting harm on the human mind. For example, I am absolutely convinced of the reality of multiple personality disorder (an amazing way for the mind to protect itself in the worst of times). Dealing with it in depth as a frightened and inexperienced bishop was one of my most painful and rewarding experiences, a journey that showed me in profound ways just how loving and real and merciful our Savior is, and how great His love is for those who have suffered the most. CLICK TO CONTINUE READING HERE...

Thursday, April 22, 2010

Two Years Ago Today...

Two years ago today
I said to myself
No more.
Two years ago today
I made a choice
That broke my heart.
Two years ago today
I left my dog and cat
It was a choice.
Two years ago today
I chose Life
Because if I didn't
I was going to eventually be killed.

Two years ago today
I had a window
of three hours.
I packed what I could
in my Get Away Van
The one God gave me
The day before.

There was no gas
It was 25 degrees out
I coasted down the mountain
And slept in a shed so he couldn't find me.
I cried for my animals and their safety.
I had no where to go
I had no money
He took everything from me.

My dignity
My sanity

I hid the van
( I had traded it for a .22 pistol the day before)
in the trees
grateful for the pioneer that had built this shed
that I had been eyeballing
for months.
I knew it was there.
I found it 4 wheeling with my dog.
The important thing was
He didn't.

I had my below zero sleeping bag
and 2 tarps.
One for the ground
One to cover me.
I could see the stars through the missing boards
that used to be a roof.
It was freezing...but I was warm, in an odd way.
I wondered if I would die of hypothermia
and prayed that he didn't hurt
Mikey and Mitzy.
That was the hardest...leaving
my sweet, loyal animals.
I knew I couldn't take them to shelter and
I knew that was where I had to go.
I couldn't believe it.
He stuck a gun in my face!
He stuck a gun in my face!
Then he went to Church
Screaming at me as he walked out the door
Because I was late.
Why was I ashamed?

I was late all right.
I planned it.
I knew I would have that
three hour window
Before he would get back.

So I stayed in the shed
Two years ago tonight.
Tomorrow was going to be another day
A safe day....
Two years ago tomorrow.

Jesus said: "Rise, take up thy bed, and walk." John 5:8 KJV

I am.

I am purging...Yesterday can finally be gone...Today is here...
And the Future is once again

Wednesday, April 21, 2010

Slip Sliding Away...

I have been thinking a lot about why I started writing this blog. The purpose was...write about the Lord before I write about NASCAR. Put my energy first into The Gospel, before I even looked at any of my feeds, or did any of the Social Media I do for race teams...etc...etc...If you look at the date of the previous post, you can see how well I have done.
I repent!

Another purpose was to connect with other members throughout the LDS Blogs, keep The Gospel in the forefront. I am on the computer so much, I can get quite isolated, which is:
A. Not very healthy,
B. Not good for the size of my butt.
C. Etc...etc...on and on... Ad nauseum.

So I am committed to once again...Begin the Begin.. Again.

I have lived for several years in a small town in Eastern Oregon, recovering from a very abusive marriage. I am so grateful The Lord placed me where He did. (And He did place me there.) He plopped me right in the middle of no where...knowing that that was exactly where I needed to be, with exactly the people and services He needed me to be with.

Recently He brought me back to Boise. I had been thinking about it, planning it, and praying for a way that I could do the move myself. It seemed an impossible task. I had been laid off my "real" job that paid an hourly wage, didn't have enough hours in the past two quarters to draw unemployment, and had become totally dependent on the Church for my basic needs and necessities.

But He lifted me up and out of there...back to Boise where all my children and grandchildren are. I had Easter, for the first time in years, with all my girls and their families. My best friend since 6th grade has provided me with a beautiful I could never of dreamed of living in. One of my race teams has provided me with a fancy schamcy phone with unlimited everything on it... my needs are met for this month. Things are picking up in my freelance work. I am looking for a "real" job...praying for The Lord to pick the perfect one for me. I know He will provide me with exactly that.

So Onward, Ever Onward... and more later. I have a lot to write, two very important anniversary dates I want to expound upon, along with insights about the lessons and experiences those anniversaries represent to me.

Blessed Be!

Monday, February 23, 2009

Our Private Lives ~ Henri Nouwen

We like to make a distinction between our private and public lives and say, "Whatever I do in my private life is nobody else's business." But anyone trying to live a spiritual life will soon discover that the most personal is the most universal, the most hidden is the most public, and the most solitary is the most communal. What we live in the most intimate places of our beings is not just for us but for all people. That is why our inner lives are lives for others. That is why our solitude is a gift to our community, and that is why our most secret thoughts affect our common life.

Jesus says, "No one lights a lamp to put it under a tub; they put it on the lamp-stand where it shines for everyone in the house" (Matthew 5:14-15). The most inner light is a light for the world. Let's not have "double lives"; let us allow what we live in private to be known in public.

**artist credit Ine Veen     Henri

Friday, February 13, 2009


Divine love heals and restores me. I am alive, alert, and enthusiastic about life. As I enter into a quiet time in the silence, all"worry thoughts" slip away. I give thanks that divine love created me and is continually healing me.

As I relax into God's loving presence, any physical or emotional pain is replaced with an encompassing sense of joy that surpasses all understanding. I take a moment to focus on each part of my body, feeling all tension evaporating, knowing that complete restoration is taking place. Slowly, gently coming back to an awareness of my surroundings, I feel both relaxed and refreshed. I understand that God is enfolding me in unconditional love and acceptance. I affirm what I know is true:

Divine love heals and restores me.

I am alive, alert, and enthusiastic about life.

"He grew strong in his faith as he gave glory to God, being fully convinced that God was able to do what he had promised."--Romans 4:20-21