Thursday, April 22, 2010

Two Years Ago Today...

Two years ago today
I said to myself
No more.
Two years ago today
I made a choice
That broke my heart.
Two years ago today
I left my dog and cat
It was a choice.
Two years ago today
I chose Life
Because if I didn't
I was going to eventually be killed.

Two years ago today
I had a window
of three hours.
I packed what I could
in my Get Away Van
The one God gave me
The day before.

There was no gas
It was 25 degrees out
I coasted down the mountain
And slept in a shed so he couldn't find me.
I cried for my animals and their safety.
I had no where to go
I had no money
He took everything from me.

My dignity
My sanity

I hid the van
( I had traded it for a .22 pistol the day before)
in the trees
grateful for the pioneer that had built this shed
that I had been eyeballing
for months.
I knew it was there.
I found it 4 wheeling with my dog.
The important thing was
He didn't.

I had my below zero sleeping bag
and 2 tarps.
One for the ground
One to cover me.
I could see the stars through the missing boards
that used to be a roof.
It was freezing...but I was warm, in an odd way.
I wondered if I would die of hypothermia
and prayed that he didn't hurt
Mikey and Mitzy.
That was the hardest...leaving
my sweet, loyal animals.
I knew I couldn't take them to shelter and
I knew that was where I had to go.
I couldn't believe it.
He stuck a gun in my face!
He stuck a gun in my face!
Then he went to Church
Screaming at me as he walked out the door
Because I was late.
Why was I ashamed?

I was late all right.
I planned it.
I knew I would have that
three hour window
Before he would get back.

So I stayed in the shed
Two years ago tonight.
Tomorrow was going to be another day
A safe day....
Two years ago tomorrow.

Jesus said: "Rise, take up thy bed, and walk." John 5:8 KJV

I am.

I am purging...Yesterday can finally be gone...Today is here...
And the Future is once again

No comments: